Dumb Blonde Jokes

This article is part of the PPSA Online Magazine
Volume 5 Number 2

1 Why don't blondes eat pickles?
Because they get their head stuck in the jar!

2 Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.

3 Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that little package.

4 What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

5 Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room!

6 How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.

7 What do blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs they're screwed!

8 What's the mating call of a blonde?
I think I'm drunk!

9 What's the mating call of a Brunette?
Is that damn blonde gone yet?

10 Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
That's where you wash vegetables!

11 Why does a blonde have T.G.I.F. on her shoes?
Toes go in first!

12 What does a peroxide blond and a 747 have in common?
They both have black boxes.

13 What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up!

14 What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

15 How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear!

16 How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear?

17 What do you call a Zit on a blonde's butt?
A Brain Tumor!

18 How do you kill a blonde? Put spikes in her shoulder pads?

19 What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone!

20 What does a blonde do first thing in the morning?
She goes home!

21 Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her neck warm.

22 Why did the blonde cross the road?
Never mind that, what was she doing out of the kitchen?

23 How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke on Friday?

24 What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.

25 If a Blonde and a Brunette both jumped off a bulding at the same time, who would land first?
The Brunette.....the blonde would have to stop and ask directions.

26 Two Blondes were walking along, and came to some tracks. One blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks", and the other said, "No, they look like Moose tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them.

27 What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball!

28 What do you call a blonde with a loonie on her head?
All you can eat for under a buck!

29 What did the blonde call her pet Zebra?

30 How can you tell when a blonde has been using your word processor?
By the whiteout on the screen.

31 How is a dumb blond different from a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.

32 How is a dumb blond like spaghetti?
They both squirm when you eat them.

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Last Updated 07/21/95.© 1996 PPSA