News From Detroit MAY94

News From Detroit

May 1994


Brought to you by...

                        The Mayo Monitor                  October 1994
                  (formerly the NEWS FROM DETROIT)

                           EDITORIAL

Steve Langer  
Oakland University                     sglanger@vela.acs.oakland.edu
(Ultrix)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Standard disclaimers apply. In addition, the author makes no guarantees
concerning the grammatical accuracy of his writing. Submitted text
files must
be in raw ASCII, compressed tar (file.tar.Z) or PK Zip format. Image
files 
be in GIF89 (or older), PostScript or compressed (see above) versions
of same.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On last month's Fix;

       the answer to last month's Fix, 
           "Baseball strikes - what to do?"
       is

  Most of you wrote that you didn't care. I found this thought amusing
for two reasons
  a. This is the greatest survey response I've gotten this year
  b. Many of the respondants haven't sent anything for a long time
     (JJ, Raman, Tom). 

  In any case, I agree the less done, the better. Why give these guys
any indication that we miss them? It only encourages their delusions of
importance. The Twins owner, in a sorry attempt to get some revenue out
of his empty stadium, actually invited fans to sit in the bleachers
last
weekend (Oct. 15-16) to listen to radio tapes of games from the 50's
and 
60's. Admission was set at 1960 prices. About 10,000 showed up. These
people 
really need a life. 

On Voter Cynicism:

  Throughout this issue, you will be bombarded by reasons that the
major
media gives for high voter cynicism this year. Those reasons will
range from the Evil Newt Gingrich, to the decline of America's
intelligence
to the agenda of racist, sexist, homophobic, baby-hating radio
talk-show
hosts. The following list is a glimpse of what just may be a more 
substantial reason. [I originally ran this in Fall of 1992, but many
new 
readers have signed on since then so the rest of you please bear with
me.] 

  Laws Congress Has Passed and Exempted Itself From
  (Wall Street Journal, Aug. (I think) 1991)

-        Social Security Act of 1933
-        National Labor Relations Act of 1935
-        Minimum Wage Act of 1938
-        Equal Pay Act of 1963
-        Civil Rights Act of 1964
-        Freedom of Information Act of 1966
-        Age Discrimination Act of 1967
-        Occupational Safety and Health Act of 1970
-        Equal Employment Opportunity Act of 1972
-        Title 9 of Higher Education Act Amend. of 1972
-        Rehabilitation Act of 1973
-        Privacy Act of 1974
-        Age Discrimination Act Amendments of 1975
-        Ethics in Government Act of 1978
-        Civil Rights Restoration Act of 1988
-        Civil Rights Act of 1991


On gun control:
  
  Costa Verdais County in California is the latest community to
institute
a gun 'buy back' program. However, unlike similar programs in Detroit, 
New York and Haiti (where the program was named 'Gords for  Guns' in
honor of the local currency, see det_news94.sep) the Costa Verdais 
buy back is being called 

        'Guns for therapy'

  Anyone who turns in a weapon will get 3 FREE hours of therapy donated
by the local mental health professionals. Think what this implies.
Anyone
who owns a gun is mentally unbalenced and by coming forward to
surrender 
their weapons are 'admitting' they need help.

On the Press;

  It's been awhile since I've done my obligatory beating of the press.
Some recent sights and sounds, however, have really incited my wrath.
Here's one that's so subtle, some of you may have seen it and still
missed
it. On Oct. 20, Peter Jennings reviewed the recent unrest in the Middle

East on the nightly news. He said,

  "...  Hamass said the recent kidnapping of an Israeli soldier
   was in response to the shooting deaths of over 20 Palistinians
   in a Mosque by an Israeli settler. Despite a rescue attempt by 
   the Israeli army, the soldier died."

  Mr. Jennings, the soldier didn't die, HE WAS KILLED. Why is it that
Jews
can shoot and kill Palistinians, but Jews just die as if by a
mysterious
disease?

  In another eye opener, I have switched to reading the New York Times
to get information beyond what is taken note of in MN (ie. cattle
futures
and the latest Viking score). Last Sunday's NY Times  (Oct. 16)
contained:

  a. Sec. 6 (the NY Times Magazine); Thomas E. Cronin writes that
Clinton
     may not be perfect, but he deserves more credit than he's getting.
The
     real problem, says Cronin, is that Americans are lousy followers.
  b. Sec. 4, Week in Review; Micheal Wines writes ,
        "It's not that Wash. is not in touch. They're too in touch.
With
         email, phones and FAXES coming from everywhere, they can't get
         anything accomplished."
     Get the message? Hey, you stupid, annoying voters, shut up!
  c. Book Review; As if by design, the books reviewed continue to
hammer
     home the point that you voters out there are stupid.

     The Bell Curve 
     by Richard Hernstein and Charles Murray
       "Mounting evidence suggests that demographic trends are exerting
        downword pressures on the distribution of cognitive ability of
the
        US. If women with low [IQ] scores are reproducing more rapidly
than
        women with high scores, the distribution of scores will
decline,
        regardless whether the low score women were created by nature
or 
        nurture."

     The Decline of Intelligence in America
     by Seymour Itzkoff
       "We are not the nation we were. Relative to the rest of the
industrial
        and developing world, we probably no longer have the
intellectual
        capitol to profit from the available educational resources."

     Reviewer Malcolm Brown summarizes thus:
     "The lowest intellectual levels of the population are strongly
      outbreeding the brightest, and if intelligence is at least partly
      inherited, America is losing its cognitive base."

  Perhaps nothing so elegantly and succintly sums up the media attitude
as the denoument of today's (Oct. 23) This Week With David Brinkley. In
speaking of the recent rash of embarassments to the British Crown,
George
Will asked a very salient question. Why don't the people and Parliament

just disempower the monarchy? To this, Cokie Roberts replied that they
serve a very real purpose, namely, a cultural and parental figurehead.
Futhermore, Cokie suggested that we could use a monarchy  in the US for
similar reasons. Brinkley and Sam Donaldson chimed in with enthusiastic
support. Will buried his face in his hands.

  So you see, gentle readers,  if you fail to behave intelligently
and elect the right people (and I'll let you figure out who that is)
you
will be gently shown the error of your ways (as in Tom Foley sueing his
constituents for the sin of passing term limits). If that doesn't work,
the loving govt. will simply remove your rights, one at a time. Rebels
will be named cult leaders and child abusers and face the devine Tanks
of Mercy. Clearly, you're too stupid to be trusted to vote. You see
that
don't you?  DON'T YOU ... click


On Bill's Foreign Policy

  "It's the economy stupid!" Those words were Bill's reminder during
the
1992 election that Bush was paying insufficient  attention to domestic 
problems. Well, let's see;
  Haiti         Rwanda
  Cuba          North Korea
  Bosnia        Iraq
  etc.

  Whatsa matter Bill? Did you forget what's important? Perhaps the
presidency
is more than you bargained for. In any case, let's see how you've made
out.

Cuba: After Fidel made his point that the U.S. immigration policy
towards
      his nation is (and always has been) hypocritical, he voluntarily
      tightened up Cuba's borders.

Haiti: Surprisingly pulled off without much shooting, Aristide was
returned
       to power. A testament to Jimmy Carter's diplomacy and Clinton's 
       military mastery? Well, maybe not. In a story buried in today's
_New
       York Times_ (Oct. 16), it turns out that the Clinton admin.
promised
       the dictator Raoul Cedras that all of his bank accounts would be

       unfrozen if he'd voluntarily leave Haiti. Not that you'll see
this
       story in the nightly news. The Haitian people may get a bit
miffed
       if they become aware that their opressor will be allowed to
profit 
       from his pillaging.

Bosnia: Still there, the U.S. helped to shoot down a Serb plane that 
        violated the no fly zone. Will we ever lift the weapons embargo

        and let matters settle themselves, or will we act as policeman
        for another few years?

Rwanda: I guess everything there must be OK now since we don't here
        anymore about it.

Iraq:   With the U.S. threatening to send over 50,000 infantry and 650
planes,
        Iraqi forces pulled back 100 miles from the Kuwait border and
have
        since dug in. The possible scenarios;
        a. We leave, and the Iraqi's again advance, forcing us to yo-yo
           our troops.
        b. We leave, and Saddam is so afraid of Bill's military prowess
           he never again challenges the Kuwaitis.
        c. We leave our troops there forever (like S. Korea).

N. Korea: What a COUP! Just today (Oct. 21) Prez Bill signed a treaty
with 
          Kim Jong. N.Korea promises to stop bomb production, export
their 
          current plutonium supply and dismantle their enrichment
reactors
          in exchange for U.S. and UN provided pressurized water
reactors
          and oil. This will only cost the US and UN about $5-10
billion
          over the next five years. What assurance does the rest of the
          world have that N.Korea will follow through on their
promises?
          Why, in FIVE years they MAY allow inspections by the
International
          Atomic Energy Commission. Gosh, who'd like to invest their
milk
          money with me?? Build A-Bombs, threaten world peace and get 
          $5 billion in aid. Talk about your return on investment.

  Wow, and to think some of us were worried that Bill had no foreign 
policy experience. I think he'll probably get a Nobel peace prize with
the word APPEASMENT emblazoned on it. In another move illustrative of
the
supreme confidence our leadership must posses, Sec. of Defense William
Perry,
speaking to his counterpart in China today (Oct. 18) admitted that the 
U.S. no longer has sufficient sea lift, air lift or smart weapons to
simultaneously fight two regional wars. When Oliver North said the same
thing
2 weeks ago during his senate campaign in Virginia, VEEP Algore said
North was exagerating the weakening of the U.S. Armed forces, and
anyway,
North was a known liar. What will Algor say now that one of his own has
confirmed the accusation? [Answer: nothing]

  Ah, what a wonderful time to be alive. The world is rapidly
destabilizing,
voters have forgotten history, and we're being led by folks who view
the
military as a money source to attempt to balance the budget. Meanwhile,

they find more and more jobs for the diminished force  to do.  I'm
tempted 
to say, "See, I told ya so", but I'd only get accused of plagiarism.

On the economy;

  Why, it's booming. Just tonight (Oct. 20) that paragon of unbiased
journalism McNeil/Lehrer News Hour reported that housing starts are up
and the big 3 auto makers are doing the best they have in two years (of
course they neglect to mention  this is due to the relative weakness
of the dollar against the yen). Yet strangley, Clinton's negatives are
up. 
Clinton blames a right wing biased media for his failure to get credit
for 
the 'robust' economy. What could those negatives be caused by? 

 Could it have anything to do with the fact that when Reagan left
office,
the top tax rate was 28% and now it's 42% (Lansing State J., Oct 16)?
Could it be that;
  a. the 1993 Census report concludes that household income fell 1.9%
     during an 'economic recovery'
  b. that despite the drop in real income, consumer spending is up,
thus
     meaning that people are going into debt
  c. that the low interest rates which Clinton based his deficit
reduction
     plan on have been raised 5 times this year
  d. that the 'rich' gained  1.3% in real income while the poorest
quintile
     lost 0.2 % leading to the largest disparity between rich and poor
     on record
  e. that due to a reluctance to hire new employees, the work force
     is working more hours/week for less money than at any time since
the
     1970's ?

[source: Detroit News, Oct. 16

  Why in this booming economy are Democrats running away from photo-ops
with the President during this campaign season? Why is Pres. Clinton
spending the final weeks before the election out of the country? Why do
the media think it's a good thing that he is? Why, in  an effort to win

elections, is the Democratic National Committee recommending to their 
clients that they base their campaign strategy upon refuting the
policies 
of the 1980's rather than going head to head with their current Rep 
opponents? Why is Hillary always hidden before elections, to pop out on
center stage immediately afterwards? Finally, why do I have this orange

fuzz in my navel??

On Politically Correct housing ads;

  HUD (housing and urban development, a cabinet level federal
departmnt)
has just issued its guidelines for housing ads. Real estate agents who
write ads that violate this list will not be fined - yet. Some of the
forbidden words and phrases are:

 __ PHRASE__            __REASON__
  a nice view           may hurt blind peoples feelings
  master bedroom        brings up memories of slavery
  nice for couple       discriminates against singles
  wanted: bachelor      discriminates against couples
  near jogging trail    hurts feelings of the wheelchair bound
  near church           offends atheists
  ideal for ...         implies a bias for particular use
  good neighborhood     offends those in crime ridden neighborhoods


On an Anniversary;

  On Oct. 29, 1993, I successfully defended my PhD. It's been a year
now
since the end of that road, and forevermore, Halloween will always hold
a particular sense of nostalgia. I don't know yet whether it was worth
it.
All I know is, neither I, nor most of my friends, are engaging in the
kind of work which we sold our youth to study. For those lucky few who
are, I hope I don't try your patience by trying to live the physics
life 
vicariously through your exploits.

                          GUEST EDITORIAL

  [Ed: This month, an editorial double header. The pieces have been
edited
  [for brevity.

IRS Workers Bow to Almighty Computer
by Mike Royko, Lansing State Journal, Sep. 19

  Schoolteacher Jim Bauser sends this in;

  In April I sent in my tax return as I have for the past 35 years. I
expected a $750 rebate. Six weeks later I got a letter from the Great
IRS computer telling me that I had made a mistake and that I was due
a $1500 rebate.

  I called the IRS and told them I wasn't due that large a refund. They
assured me that the computer stated that I was wrong and would get the
$1500. On three different days I called the IRS office in Houston where
I live and tried to get them to listen. I was transferred from
department
to department and was hung up on by a man who said, "I don't know why
they
sent you here." click

  On day 4 I got a women who was able to bring up my form on her
computer
screen. We went through it line by line and discovered that when my
form
was keyed into the computer, an amount that should have only been
entered
once was entered on two consecutove lines. This caused my refund to
double.
I pointed this out to the women but she said that I didn't understand
the
form and the computer was right.

  By now I'd wasted several hours and was getting mad. I knew I had to 
return the money or else they'd eventually find the mistake, charge
interest,
reposess my house and threaten my grandchildren's lives. 
  [Ed: This last is an exaggeration. They'd only imprison the
grandchildren.

  I sent the IRS a certified letter telling them how they could correct
the 
error and told them I sent copies to my Senator and Congressman. The
Houston
office replied that they kicked the problem up to the Philidelphia
office.
Philidelphia replied that they had corrected the error and if I would
send in the extra refund immediatly, there would be no penalities.
Gee, thanks.

  So I sent in the $750 minus $20 for my long distance bill. Two weeks
later
they sent another bill for the $20, or else they'd charge interest on
the 
total outstanding balance. I was going to fight them in small claims
court,
but my wife thought the whole thing rediculous and just sent them a
check.

  [Ed; the inevitable outcome when the role of employer and employee
  [    are allowed to get confused.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------

A Nation of Soreheads
by Garrison Keillor, NY Times, Oct 23

   The voters are so angry that an editorial in the Times last week
contained a story about a Savannah anesthesiologist and a retired
Richmond
fire-fighter who are both considering moving to Costa Rica because of
how
bad things are in the US these days.

   The anesthesiologist said that in ten years, it won't be
economically
feasible to live in this country anymore. The fireman said that in
Costa
Rica, taxes are lower, you can raise your kids as you see fit, and you
can defend your property. The fireman neglected to mention that some of

those high taxes are paying his pension and allowing him to retire  a
lot 
sooner than most of us. As for the anesthesiologist, I always thought
they
were paid rather well, but perhaps I was wrong.

  I do think that if these angry voters believe that the US is on the
rocks
and that Costa Rica will offer them the good life, then by all means
go. And
if the anesthesiologist wants to learn "Count backwards from 100", in 
Spanish, then God bless him. But shouldn't someone warn the Costa Rican
govt. that they're about to get a load of Rep. boat people  who have
all
sorts of ideas about what society owes them?

  How can one say this nicely? In the adult segment of your life, Angry
Voter, after your parents kiss you goodbye and kick you out, life is
uncertain. Even in the past, the future was uncertain, and if you can't
get
ahead, you're not entitled to blame the President or the Congress or
your
parents, even in Costa Rica. I thought everyone knew this. This is the
era
of the dumbing down of America, and frankly, the cynicism of people who
are rowing with one oar is not of great interest. 

  Newspapers are keenly aware that today's youth don't care whether
they
see a morning paper, and they try to appeal to this generation by 
writing down to it. To the average dim 14 year old, the adult
population
consists of dolts, jerks and meanies. And with reporters writing gothic
conspiracy tales about Congress and the president as they have in the
past 
year, can we be surprised if the American voter feels that his govt. is
made
up of jerks as well? We are becoming a nation of soreheads, and we'll
probably go to the polls and shoot ourselves in the foot. Good for
us I say. I say the Angry Cynical Voter should elect a congress of
pinheads, nincompoops and radio talk show hosts. And in 1996, they
should
elect Newt Gingrich to be our angry cynical President. He and Congress
can cut taxes in half, triple defense spending, build a naval base in
the
Okeefenokee Swamp and require all schools to teach the doctrine of
original sin.

  [Just a bit of hysteria from a mild-mannered, centrist Minnesota son
  [caused by the mere thought that  Dems may lose their 40+ year
hammerlock
  [on Congress in the upcoming election.
  [Oh and Mr. Keillor, where was all the hand-wringing introspective 
  [analysis of the nasty press when Dan Quayle was in office?

                             LETTERS

1. A new friend from Mayo, Richard Tripoli, now residing in San Diego
pens;

 The November election out here in the land of Fruits and Nuts promises
to
be a hot one. The incumbant Rep. Gov. Pete Wilson (Rep.) is fighting 
against the sister of Jerry Brown, Kathleen Brown. The Senate race is
between Dianne Feinstein (Dem) and Michael Huffington. 

  Also, Prop. 187 (a bill sponsored by Wilson to eliminate education,
health
and welfare benefits to illegal aliens) is on the ballot. This, like
most
issues, has been turned into a ethnic battle. The school boards and
NEA, of
course, want the benefits to continue.  Personally, I don't want to pay
for these things for anyone, legal or illegal. I think that if people
want
to pay for this stuff, they should set up a donation booth and get in
line
to set an example. Frankly, I think most of them are hypocrites and
vote
strictly on the basis of race, or they can't think for themselves, or a

combination of both.

  Actually, I'm having a dream come true. With Clinton, along with a
Democrat controlled govt., they are demonstrating their incompetance.
I just hope for two things: first, that Americans learn what the
Democrats
really stand for, second, that the Reps get their act together.

  Actually I consider myself a Libertarian, but don't vote for them 
because I don't think they have enough clout yet to get elected and
that
a vote for them is wasted since it causes the Reps to lose and the Dems
to win. This is similar to what  I call the "Perot Effect", i.e.
Clinton
got elected because Bush lost a critical number of votes to Perot. Only
43% of the nation voted for Clinton. That means the majority of the
public
did not, yet he got elected. Maybe there should be a run-off in cases
like this.

Anyway, gotta go.

Rich Tripoli
Right Winger on the Left Coast
1642 Madison Ave.
San Diego CA 92116

  [A few of points. Prop. 187 has already been denounced as 
  [unConstitutional by the Kalifornia Supreme Court since it 
  [ "would bar children from their (state) constitutional right
  [to education". Even mean right-wing, baby-haters such as Bill Bennet
  [and Jack Kemp have come out against it. You Kalifornia citizens 
  [should renounce your U.S. citizenship. You'll no longer
  [have to pay Federal or State income taxes, yet you'll still qualify 
  [for everything except the right to vote and who really needs that?
  [
  [Second, I did an anaylysis of the exit polls after the '92 election
  [and the Perot vote was about evenly split between ex Dems and Reps.
  [
  [Finally, if you only vote for the lesser of two evils, that's all
  [you'll ever get. A lesser evil. Vote your heart and convince others
  [to follow.

2. JJ writes;

From jjohnson@godiva.lanl.gov Fri Oct 21 22:54:00 1994
Status: RO

Steve,

WHY prevent future baseball strikes?? Like somebody actually MISSES 
the stupid boring sport?

My 2 cents,
John "will work for food" Johnson

(PS - Maybe this will give people an opportunity to find a REAL
sport to watch! Or at least give the baseball officials a reason
to TRY to make baseball more worth watching. I'd vote for full
contact, cheerleaders... hell - let lose some killer bees on the
field and see how that livens things up...)
--------------------------------------------------------------
John D. Johnson
Home:   505 Oppenheimer #516, Los Alamos, NM 87544
        505/424-7772 (H) 505/665-4054 (W)
--------------------------------------------------------------


3. And Raman chimes in from Michigan State

From pfaff@ppsa.com Fri Oct 21 23:33:51 1994
Status: RO

I only have one response to your survery...why would we ever want
to stop another baseball strike? Luckily this one is not yet over and 
the best possible outcome would be the eradication of baseball from
our country. The game no longer has any resemblance of entertainment
in today's society. Perhaps if this was still 1900 I would have an 
interest but alas...this is almost the dreaded year of 2001 (where
I saw no inference of the existence of baseball).

Raman

4. And FLorida Doug

From dwilken@ufthm.health.ufl.edu Sat Oct 22 13:13:06 1994
Status: RO

Steve,
We both know that we *can't* prevent strikes--if the employers
and employees simply won't work things out, such is life.

However, it certainly wouldn't hurt things to take away that
little anti-trust exemption clause which the Major League
owners enjoy.  This last little bit in which the sale of
the San Fran Giants to St.Petersburg/Tampa Bay was blocked
was *just* a bit too blatant.

If the Northern League hasn't bit the dust yet,  it might be
worthwhile becoming a fan of the St. Paul Saints, Steve.  My
esteemed brother Curtis just informed me that the Cubs picked
up the Twins general manager Andy MacPhail--why the Twinks let
him go is beyond me.  Calvin Griffith should have had a general
manager like that.

BTW I appreciate that you are dedicating your column to the 
things that are really important:  Sports issues.   Hey, we all
need mental enemas on occasion.  (Although, I'm two years overdue
for mine.)

As far as the rest of the news, here is a short summary:  The world
is in tough shape and there are too many people who think they are
the only ones who can make proper decisions for you.

Doug

5.  Our man in Washington writes

From GRIMMJ@cna.org Mon Oct 24 09:52:37 1994
Status: RO

Steve:

On Baseball strikes and preventing them in the future:
(1)  Shrink the zone to between their balls and bellybuttons
(2)  Summarily execute them by forcing the players and owners to watch
non-stop Barney re-runs.

Other news:
   I'm moving to Alemeda NAS in California at the end of November.  But
I'll
still keep this E-mail address.  I have been on business travel
recently,
for 31 days.  I've spent time in both Nevada and California.  And so,
from the land of fruits, nuts and flakes:

I'm quoting verbatim a letter to the editor of the San Diego
Union-Tribune:

"WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID DEFACING OTHER PLANETS
  The headline read: 'Scientists send Magellan into dive toward surface
of
Venus' (news article, Oct. 12).  It should have read: 'Scientists find
a way
to pollute Venus; scientists head toward Uranus.'
  Could earthlings be any more insensitvie than to continue the process
of
basically defacing other planets.  It seems that those who call
themselves
scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory -- I no longer will --
have
little concern for their actions.
  It would have been a wonderful act to fire the jets of Magellan so
that it
could come back home for possible retrieval using the shuttle; and sit
in the
Smithsonian for this and future generations to be astonished at what we
have
responsibly and respectfully done.
  But as with most things with scientists these days, their concern is
limited
to their mission budget.  
  We earthlings can do better than to use other planets as our dumping
ground.

SUMIT DONGRE, San Diego"

Have fun, Steve. 
Mike

6. An Texas Tom adds his $0.02

From ApogeeTom@aol.com Mon Oct 24 13:29:25 1994
Status: RO

> The baseball strikes. How should we prevent them in the future?
1. Bring in "scab players": undertrained, shambly minor league or, for
that
matter, beer league players that will play until matters are resolved.

2.  Declare Major League Baseball a monopoly and fine them heavily.

3. Give all the players $500,000, plus their batting average times $3
Million. Bat .333, get $1 Million.  Perhaps there should be some
scaling in
there, and of course, some sort of ERA deal for pitchers, and penalties
for
errors, men left on base, etc.

4.  Start watching a real sport, like rugby.  I mean, baseball's as
All-American as alar-covered apple pie, Moms that kill competing
cheerleaders, and rat-excrement-and-insect-laden hot dogs.  At least
rugby
admits the players are just a pile of kids wrestling to determine
pecking
order.  Plus the cute shorts.

5.  Take all the planned player's salaries and hire the homeless to
build
homes for themselves.  Definitely some incentive to work hard--you
don't toil
tough, you got no roof.

In the scheme of things, baseball is so flabbergastingly unimportant,
it's
obvious why so many people are interested in it.  Because any way you
decide,
it's not really that bad.  It's a nice way to avoid the life-or-death
decisions we face, discussing the quibbles of millionaires.

Later, o physicist,

Tom

                        QUOTE(s) OF THE MONTH

  Einstein on pipes;
    "Pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective
     judgment of human affairs."
                                -- Accepting a lifetime membership 
                                   in the Montreal Pipe Smokers Club,
1950

  Einstein on clothes:
    "It would be a sad situation if the bag was better than the
     meat wrapped in it."
                                --source Physics Today, Aug. 1994

                           FIX OF THE MONTH

     "Illegal Immigrants: Deport them, let them starve here, or
      give full citizenship and rights (whatever are left) to any
      who reach US soil?"

                               NEWS
Minnesota;

1. Oct. 11: Residents cheered today when it was announced that MN has
risen
to the 6'th highest overall tax rate in the U.S. and the 5'th highest 
income tax. This under the stewardship of the allegedly Rep. Govnr.
Carlson. Hmmm.

2. Oct 12, Rochester: Hoologinism is running rampant! A security guard
at the Crossroads Shopping Mall filed a report with the City police to
whit:

While monitoring a roped off construction area, the guard observed
someone crossing the line into the construction zone. The guard
confronted
the interloper and ordered him to leave the area, but the vagabond
pushed
the guard to the ground and according to the police report,
  "Called him a bad name."
The intruder then left the area. The city mayor has pointed to this
incident as justification for raising taxes to hire more police.

  [You know Toto, I don't think we're in Detroit anymore.

3. Minneapolis, Oct 17: Concerned about possible "abuses", the Humane
Society Central office has announced that it will not approve adoptions
of black cats from now through Halloween.

Michigan;

1. Oct. 3, Petoskey: Outside the room where the Northern Michigan
Regional
Militia is meeting stands a poster of a 1935 quote by Adolf Hitler
extolling
the virtues of gun control. Inside, Ray Southwell warns that Clinton is
moving to disarm the U.S. His proof:
  a. the Brady Bill
  b. the "assault weapon" ban
  c. Waco
  d. Randy Weaver

Formed last April in Emmet County, the Militia has spawned sister
groups
in 11 other counties with two dozen more starting up.

  [And naturally, it's purely a coincidence that they all read this
rag.
  [... just kidding ... maybe.

Oklahoma;

1. Moffet, Oct 21: Part of the new crime bill which was just passed by 
Congress was to target more money to specific locales to help them
hire more cops and 'clean up the streets'. The town of Moffet was
awarded
$106K. There's only one problem, the one cop who patrolled all 4 blocks
of the city was fired last year by the town because there was nothing
for 
him to do. The town folk are now wondering if they should give the
money
to the mayor so he doesn't have to collect aluminum beer cans to 
amplify his Soc. Sec. checks.

  [And yes, this is your tax money at work.

Illinois;

1. Chicago, Oct. 20: In a move which stunned no one, the Chicago
Tribune
formally announced its support for the reelection of Dem. Dan
Rostenkowski
for Congress. The fact that Dan is under indictment for House bank
and Post Office improprieties apparently is a badge of honor with the 
Tribune, which operates under the assumption that a proven Dem.
criminal
is a better risk than a Rep. candidate who _may_ not be.

New York;

1. New York City, Oct 25: Something very odd is happening with Reps
around the country. Last week Jack Kemp came out against California's
Prop. 187. This is not too unusual a stance for Kemp. What is very
unusual is that Bill Bennet followed suit the next day (yes the same
Bennet of Ron Reagen's War on Drugs program). Today, New York's Rep.
Mayor Rudolf Gouliani (sp?) announced his support for the reelection
of Dem. Gov. Mario Cuomo. 

  [You almost get the feeling that someone is holding hostage the
  [loved ones of prominant Reps.

Wash D.C.;

1. Oct. 13: Clinton has called on the United Nations Security Council
to support a U.S. sponsored plan to create a 'secure zone' in southern
Iraq. Clinton envisions a force of 650 planes and up to 50,000 infantry
to prevent Sadam Hussein from once again invading Kuwait, as he is 
threatening to do. The French ambassador to the Security Council
angrily
retorted that France would not lend its aid to boost Clinton's approval

ratings just before a mid-term election.

  [Pretty savvy, those French.

2. Oct. 22 TV Guide: Robert MacNeil of the MacNeil/Lerher News Hour
has announced that he will retire next year. While he denied that his 
leaving the show had anything to do with a shortfall in PBS revenues,
he did acknowledge that they are about to lose a major corporate
sponsor and 20% of their budget by the year 1998. "I know this looks
like retrenchment", said MacNeil, "but corporate money was easier to 
come by in the 80's."

  [WHAT?!? Corporate money was easier to come by in the 80's? That
  [was the "decade of greed and selfishness". Doesn't MacNeil know
  [that we have a Dem controlled govt. and a booming economy? That
we're
  [at the dawning of a new age in kindness and generosity? I think ole
  [Bob is really going to a sanitarium, and this is just a cover story.

3. Oct. 21, NPR: The NIH (Natl. Institutes of Health) have announced
today that otherwise healthy and asymptomatic 20 year old males have
about
50% less viable sperm than did their grandfathers at that age. The
going
theory is that many of the compounds used in plastics and pesticides
are leaching estrogen analogs that are either supressing the
production,
or the efficacy, of normal male hormones. In other words, males are
becoming
feminized.

  [Great. Stupid and sterile. I guess _A Boy and his Dog_ wasn't so far
off.

California;

1. L.A. Times, Oct 2: Hil Durkey, an atmospheric physicist with UCLA, 
warns that smog leads to increased cloud production and clouds with a
greater surface albedo (that means they reflect more light). According
to Durkey's computer models, the outcome of this is that more solar
radiation will be reflected back out to space resulting in - global
cooling.

  [Thank you, thank you. And for an encore, I'll predict what will
  [happen to the US economy under Bill Clinton. Whoops. I already did 
  [that.

2. Oct. 10; Santa Cruz joined S. Dakota, Boulder, CO and other
politically
correct communities around the nation by cancelling the Columbus Day
parade and re-naming the day 'Indiginous People's Day'. Thousands of
native Americans are openly weeping by this sincere and deeply
sensitive act.

3. Berkeley, Oct. 18: At UC-Berkeley, many of the liberal arts majors
have
had their required curricula designed by the students themselves.
Classes
such as Female Sexuality and Modern Lesbianism, Understanding Culture
through Rap and Crystal Healing are on the schedule, but perhaps more
interesting is a course in understanding the homeless culture. Taught
by
grad student (and former homeless person) Todd Sheldon(?), the course
consists of having dinner in soup kitchens, applying for Food Stamps
and
other govt. assistance, and sleeping in parks. Todd refers to his 
class assigments as "homeless-work".

Canada;

1. Ottawa, Detroit News, Sep. 17: Canada's largest tobacco dealer, RJR
Reynolds, has announced its findings that smoking aids the Canadian 
economy by killing off people before they become old enough to become
a drain on the nationalized health care system.

  [Let's hear it for socialized medicine !

Net News;


1. From alt.politics.us-constitution, the text of S.349, aimed at 
nothing less than  stifling all political criticism. I know that almost
none of you will take the time to read the full text (I include it only
to avoid the charge that I, being a pathological liar, made it up), but

in a nutshell, it says this;

    If you spend over 10% of your time or $2500 (in '94 dollars) to 
    speak to a representative in Wash. D.C., or the same amounts of 
    money or time in a grass roots effort to sway public opinion, 
    you must register your name, those of your associates, your
    budget, and describe who you talked to and on what topics,
    or face fines up to $200,000. The new agency created 
    to enforce this legislation will be appointed by (and only
answerable
    to) the President.

Our old friend Sandy Levin (Dem., Mich) sponsored this bill. Supporters
of it will claim that its only purpose is to expose the activities of
PACs
to public scrutiny.  This lie is betrayed by the language 
covering grass roots campaigns that use mass media to reach the public.

You can thank the Republican filibuster for killing its passage in the 
Senate, course the nightly News will portray the Reps as being the
enemies
of campaign reform, truth, justice and the American way. Think what you
will.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

From gkendall@BIX.com Mon Oct  3 12:55:23 EDT 1994
Status: RO

    S349         Levin (D-MI)            03/24/94       (1540 lines) 
                 Engrossed Amendment House 

Lobbying Disclosure Act of 1993. 

Special typefaces used in this bill version: 
     //   \\    Italic 
     /!   !\    Bold Italic 
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
--- --- 
  
                   IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, U. S., 
  
                               March 24, 1994. 
  
    Resolved, That the bill from the Senate (S. 349) entitled "An 
Act to provide for the disclosure of lobbying activities to 
influence the Federal Government, and for other purposes", do pass 
with the following 

    OK, FOR THOSE WITH WEAK MAILERS AND US-SNAIL, THE NEXT 50
  PAGES OF LEGAL SPEAK HAVE BEEN DELETED.

  Ed.

Last Updated 04/14/95.© 1996 PPSA Consulting
jjohnson@ppsa.com